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In Between Times

January 24, 2006

I’m in an in between time right now. I realized this last night as I was tossing and turning in bed, don’t you hate those nights? I also realized that in between times can be tracked, predicted, cyclical in some ways. This in between time is the place before settling in to a commitment and after stepping out to find it. In more concrete terms before the Boy and I settle in and after graduating and moving into the working world/out on my own.
It is always hard to exist peacefully in the In Between Time because all you think about is what you’re waiting for. This is probably why I was tossing and turning. Can you fully BE in the present if you are constantly looking towards the future? Don’t they say live each day as if it was your last. I’m not doing that if I’m living each day to get to the next.
In Between Times occur frequently throughout your life. There are those moments when you realize you’ve just accomplished a life milestone but its gonna be a couple of years until the next. If you haven’t truly defined the next, then its easy to plug along happily, peacefully, looking for the next one. However, the In Between Time comes into existence when you’ve defined the next milestone and its still a long way off.
Think of the summer before Senior year in High School. Sure its a regular summer, but really its not because its about to be your Senior year of High School. But really its nothing special because its not Senior Year and its not the summer after Senior Year which is the last horrah before you move into adult hood, kinda. So its Summer and you should be having fun, but all you’re thinking about is Senior Year and graduating and getting to that point.
I know I should be excited about what the future holds and appreciate how quickly this time is going to pass and that I will miss it, and I’m in an In Between Time and that’s just where I am.

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