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plan, plan, plan

December 22, 2006

I’m a planner. Its just my nature. I like to know what I’m doing and when. I usually have 2-3 social “events” planned each week so I know what I’m doing at night and I know who with and where. I also really enjoy quiet nights at home with myself, but even then I’m “planning” to watch TV all night or “planning” to cook myself dinner, read and do laundry. Its all planned out.

But life doesn’t work out how you plan it. And sometimes that’s hard to cope with. I’m planning to move to NYC in April and there are lots of littles things that I’m planning to happen then too, buying new dishes, buying things to decorate a new apartment with, lots of them involve spending money. But there is a huge new factor in my plans- I’m moving in with The Boy- its not just about my plans anymore- he’s now a crucial part of them. He doesn’t like to plan. He’s also in law school and therefore doesn’t have the same income as me. I’m going to have to be a bit flexible in my plans, and that’s hard to cope with too.

I’ve also realized that some of the “plans” I’d created in my head maybe aren’t really what I planned on. Sure The Boy and I are ready to take the next step, even beyond moving in together, I’m ready to wear a ring he presents to me. But do I really want it to happen ASAP? Maybe I’ve let other people’s plans invade and weave themselves into my own. So when it doesn’t happen when they’ve planned it to, which is now when I planned it to… what then?

Well… life doesn’t work out how you plan it to. And you just have take a deep breath, maybe a klonopin to help you sleep that first night when you’re figuring out what your real plans are, blog about it a bit… and move through it. Because, just because it doesn’t turn out how you think and just because your plans can be shot to shit, doesn’t mean you can’t be happy with how everything turns out. Right?

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