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The Gifts we Give Ourselves

December 28, 2009

The prompt for Best of ’09 on Christmas Day was: “What’s a gift you gave yourself this year that has kept on giving?”

I’m guessing that the way people approached this was probably split 50/50. Half of the bloggers probably focused on a physical gift- something they splurged on, maybe something simple they just had to have and bought themselves. I’m sure the other half are focusing on more intangiable gifts, things they rewarded themselves with, or a mindset they made sure to keep, or even changing a lifestyle for the better.
I could go both ways, but in the spirit of how I usually approach posts I’ll take about the more intangible gift I gave myself this year, the best one.
That gift has been believing in myself. It isn’t always easy to maintain a positive and confident approach to the world, In that past few years I haven’t been a good role model at doing this for myself. I’ve always been good at encouraging others, but often failed to take my own advice. I beat myself up, I get frustrated, sometimes I give up. Worst of all, I just let myself stay or remain in situations where I’m not happy, and not fulfilled. You wouldn’t know this looking at me, or interacting with me on the regular, but I know it.
When I look back on 2009 I don’t think, “Wow that was a great year!” To be honest, I do think of it for 2008 even with the job loss and 3 months of unemployment, and that’s because I had so many happy events to celebrate. However, when I think of 2009 I do see myself believing that I can do more, I can be more and I deserve more. I see myself getting out of a bad job situation, taking charge. I see myself believing I could compete in endurance events even when I didn’t train as hard as I wanted, and doing it. I see myself as an adult, making adult decisions that are scary and exciting and take a lot of faith and belief in what I can accomplish and what I can handle. This year, I gifted myself the belief that I have a lot and will do a lot in my lifetime. Bring it on 2010, I’m ready.

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